Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
You Jokes
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Wait a minute...
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
What do you call 5 gays on fire?
LGBBQ.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
