You jokes
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
What do you call a gay priest? Hahahahahaha!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing? Dead mooves.
You guys know BeReal?
BeReal? More like cereal.
Get it? BeReal = cereal.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”