You jokes
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?
None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
If you're cleaning a vacuum, aren't you the vacuum cleaner?
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?
A barcode.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.