You jokes

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

What do you call a scared cow?

A COW-ard.

Why is basketball called basketball?

Because you play with a basket.

Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.

How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?

Special forces.

What do you call an orphan's family region?

Me time.

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

No eye deer.

Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.