You jokes

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

What do you call a picture of an orphan?

A family photo.

Name a nut. You because are nuts.

Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

What do you call a deer with good eyes?

Good ideas.

What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?

None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.