You jokes

I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.

Roses are red, grass is greener.

When I think of you, I play with my weiner.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

Gwen and Prince chat and talk and discuss; we won't bother you! Here! Enjoy!

I'll give you an A because you're awesome.

B because you're beautiful.

A C because you're caring.

And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple!

What did the bee say to the flower?

"Hey bud! When do you open?"

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!