You jokes

What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?

A family portrait/A selfie.

"Ow! You hit the spot!"

Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.

Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!

What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?

Standing ovation!

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.

What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!

What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?

You can beat an egg.

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."

"You is so black your mama fainted."

Spare.

You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."