You jokes
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
wow
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?
Except at a funeral.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!