You jokes
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Memes
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I hate you.
I hate you who?
You hate me?? Rude!
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)