You jokes
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
Your money, you bully's everything you hate.
You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What do you call a blind German? A not-see Nazi.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.