You jokes
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
I like you, you like me.
Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.