You jokes
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Memes
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Why tie when you can knot?
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.