You jokes

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?

A. "Pieces of You."

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch cold.

What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

What do you call a child version of Batman?

The Raped Crusader.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.

Like if you think someone is gay.

Follow me if you know someone smart.

If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.