Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
You Jokes
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
