You jokes
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Memes
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
These are bee puns.🐝
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
What do you call a flat chested emo girl?
Cutting board.
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!