You jokes
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.