Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
You Jokes
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
What do you call a German lesbian?
A Kraut Muncher.
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
You know Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' these balls.
