You jokes
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.