You jokes
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers? The Suicide Squad.
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.