You jokes
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Memes
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."