You jokes
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
A bipolar bear.
Lol
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
*Side eye*
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call an Asian k9? E10
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suicide Squad.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.