You Jokes

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?

A tongue workout!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?

What do you call a person with cancer?

A ghost with a body.

They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.

Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?

A close-up photo of a hamster with its face close to the camera, mimicking an unflattering angle during a video call. The text above and below the hamster reads: "WHEN YOU'RE FACETIMING AND YOU TURN YOUR CAMERA AND YOU LOOK LIKE THIS."

Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.

How do you spell racecar backwards?

racecar

How do you spell racecar sideways?

Paul Walker's death.

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."