You jokes
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."