You jokes
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?
A: A rocket chip.
What do you call a one-legged Asian?
Tie Won Shoo.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.