You jokes
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Your sister is your mother.
Your father is your brother.
You all shag one another.
The Inbred family.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Memes
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.