You jokes

There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.

One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:

Police: "What’s you name?"

Shut Up: "Shut Up."

Police: "Where's your manners?!"

Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.

What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.

What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?

Carlos!

Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.

She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”

The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”

The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreak havoc on preschool.

Toast is like parents.

If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.