You jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.
Mineta: Go on.
Denki: Uraraka's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it.
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: ^cries T_T^
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
Have you ever had African water??
Neither have they.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.