You jokes
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Memes
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.