You jokes
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
A homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge.
A homeless man is walking along a road and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
Roses are red, Justin Bieber is gay, But most importantly, You know de way.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A cow with no legs.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"