You jokes
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Memes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers? The Suicide Squad.
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"