You jokes
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
What I if told you
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.