You jokes
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
What do you call an orphan’s picture?
A family photo.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.