This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
