You jokes
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
What is the worst joke ever? It's you.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."