You jokes
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
You. Me. Gas Station.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.