You jokes

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

Because they have a hare-line.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.

What do you say when a person trips?

You say, "Why you trippin'?"

What did the orange say to the other orange?

I orange you glad!

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.

What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?

A Tyrannosaurus Tex.

What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourselves!

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."