You jokes
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Memes
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.