You jokes
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!