Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
You Jokes
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
