You jokes
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
Memes
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.