You jokes
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Memes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Love you baby :^
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."