You jokes
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Dad, I hate you!
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.