You jokes
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
What I if told you
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
What do you white people use as pronouns?
Crack/her.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.