You jokes
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!