When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
You Jokes
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
