You jokes

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.

Have you heard of the current event in Africa?

It’s known as the Hunger Games.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?

DeterMIENATION

Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

What's the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

What do you call a crippled terrorist?

An RC-XD.

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator.

What do you call a black abortion clinic?

Crime Stoppers.

If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.

You really put the R in special.

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.