You jokes
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"9/11."
"9/11 who?"
"You said you'd never forget!"
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.