You jokes

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.

What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?

Nazrat.

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬

Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?

Friend: Yeah, sure.

Me: *pulls out gun*

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?

Panera bread serving food.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

I: "Get a boomerang."

Type: "Why?"

Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

What did the adopted poker player say?

"Will you raise me?"

What does a chicken give you?

Student: Meat.

What does a pig give you?

Student: Bacon.

What does a fat cow give you?

Student: Homework.

Yo mama so stupid, she raised you.

People: You're ugly.

Me: Ok.

People: I hate you.

Me: Cool, IDC.

People: You're annoying.

Me: Good for me.

People: BTS is dumb.

Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.