You jokes

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

Open a pizza shop 🍕

What do you call an orphan with parents?

I don't know... what?

Kidnapped. :)

Do you like CDs?

There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."

Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.

Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.

Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.

Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?

Suicide.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?

The witnesses.

What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?

Do you think he saw us?

What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

The teacher can’t give you homework.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.