You jokes
What do you call dolls in a line?
Barbie queuing.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.
Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?
For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.
An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"
"No," replies the adopted kid.
"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.
If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.
Like if you dislike emos.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.