You jokes
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Memes
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
You are all going to be pun-ished!
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?