You jokes
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
When the school lets you near children again...
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Like this if you are in foster care.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."