You jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"9/11."
"9/11 who?"
"You said you'd never forget!"
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.