You jokes

What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Fuck you you rwind my life.

I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.

Children are like farts.

You can only tolerate your own.

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!

Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?

Person 2: Andrew?

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

[pause] You said you’d never forget.

What do you call a group of emo people?

"The Suicide Squad."

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

What do you call intelligent people in America?

Tourists.

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?

A KKKO.

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?

"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"

Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!