What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
You Jokes
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You dress her up as an altar boy.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
When the school lets you near children again...
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
