You jokes
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Memes
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
You sat on a chair with Uranus.
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!