You jokes
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
me every day
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
You mom.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."