You jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
You mom.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What do you call a bacon from Chernobyl?
Technoblade!
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.