You jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What do you call a bacon from Chernobyl?
Technoblade!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."