You Jokes

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Happens a lot to me😐

A person with a distorted face shouting "MOOOOOVE". The text above the image reads, "When you get stuck behind slow walkers:".

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

What does a chicken give you?

Student: Meat.

What does a pig give you?

Student: Bacon.

What does a fat cow give you?

Student: Homework.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."

Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?

Nah, it's too cheesy.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"