You jokes
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
Like if you hate going to school.
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.