You jokes

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?

Hot Wheels.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

What do you call an emo that crossed a road? Roadkill.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.

Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?

Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?

One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?

The NBA.

What do you call a friend in space?

Space friend.

Are you a knife? Because I want you.

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.