You jokes
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Person: Why? You: No.
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is. 😢