You jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
What do you call a feminist? A Karen.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶