You jokes
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Memes
You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.