You jokes
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"