You jokes

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

What do you say when the toilet is clogged?

Oh shit!

What do you call an Indian going through the bins?

RUM-MAJINGG

What do you call a mouse with sneakers?

Squeakers!

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

What do you call an army of disabled people?

Special forces.

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."

What do you call gay parents?

Poly.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

If you play games, go play on your sister.

What do you call it when Portericans surround your house? A spicket fence!

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.