You jokes
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
What is a room you can not enter? A mushroom.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
Anyone play Roblox?
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?
Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.