You jokes
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Memes
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Even if there were no gravity, I would still fall for you...
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.