You jokes
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.