You jokes

It's not rape if you both like it.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!

What do you call a cool octopus?

Tenta-cool (tentacle)

Spell Mississippi.

M-I-S-S-I-P-P~

Haha you said pp.

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His mom says "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Never mind, it’s too long.

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

What do you call a fat transgender midget?

Jigglypuff.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?

A slow clap.

How do you piss off a disabled person?

You put the cookie on the other shoulder.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A liquor cabinet.

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

What do you call a tent for lesbians?

Finger Hut.

Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?

It’s called "Maybe Dick."