You jokes
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
What's life if you don't have one...
Memes
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
They come with an Elon Musk.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.