You jokes

What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

What do you call a terrorist in water?

A bath bomb 😁

What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?

A bath bomb.

If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.

I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.

A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."

This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Are you George Floyd?

Cause you take my breath away! 😮‍💨

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.

After a while, a student stands up.

Teacher: So you think you are stupid?

Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.

You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.

Just not for long!

Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.