You jokes
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.
What is a difference between a tree? Tree 🌲 was the day you get.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.