You jokes
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb π
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
Iβd like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they donβt let you bring your own snacks.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
If you eat a clock, then does that mean youβve consumed time?
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.