You jokes

Rape

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

Man

Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

No, I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes.

Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

Schizophrenic

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

Sex

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

Gentleman

"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.

The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"

The old man replied, "You're the eighth."

Hairline

(Bully) Boy, you ugly!

(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

Basement

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

Orphan

Me: Hey, are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

Relationship

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

Rope

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

Panera

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

Income

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.