You jokes
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
Memes
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
You look like something I drew with my left hand.