Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
You Jokes
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's the really bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
