You jokes
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
Why is 8 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says:
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
You know Sally? She's dead now.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
Good morning, Gwen, how are you?
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..
Just put the diaper on her 😉
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!