You jokes
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
They come with an Elon Musk.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's life if you don't have one...
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."