You jokes
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.