You jokes
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.