You jokes
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
Gwen, why are you so nice?
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?