You jokes
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
Would you like to eat some African food?
So would they...
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.