You jokes

Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit

What do you call a black person in a dark room?

Invisible.

Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

Would you like to eat some African food?

So would they...

When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.

What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

How do you punish a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Q: How do you make a door cry?

A: Twist its knob.

Q: Have you ever felt a window?

A: Did you feel the pane?

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.

Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.

Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?

A: Look in a mirror.

What do you call a white duck?

A quacker.

Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."