Payment jokes
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
Wife is texting husband:
"Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"
Husband: "seilghsielguG"
Wife: "Seriously, David?"
Husband: "fuweyadb"
What is not the definition of prostitution?
A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.