You jokes
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Memes
What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
What do you call a Panera Bread with hair?
Panera Hair.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?...
"Catch you later!"
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.