You jokes

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?

What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.

Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.

What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.

What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.

Do you know Ligma... potatoes?

How does a disabled person play chess?

I think you forgot they don't have legs.

Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.

I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.

I'll let you decide.

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"

Your forehead is so big that you dream on IMAX.

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!

If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.

Did you adopt your dog?

What do you call a cannibal without any eyes? A cann-bal :)

"Never gonna give you up."

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

You know who else has dementia?

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