You jokes
Toilet: hi You: hi what?
Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.
Memes
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?
"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"
You mehheheeheheeeehehehe.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.
You: I have a nice hairline.
Your friend: Since when do you have one?
You: I forgot.
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.