You Jokes

Waiter

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

Hot Dog

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

Fat

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

Gulag

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

Height

You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.

Time

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

Love

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

Gay

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

Sex

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

Prince

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Book

Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?

It's about time!

Forehead

Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?

I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.

Boyfriend

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

Apple

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.