You jokes

Like this if you like me.

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA

Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?

A: Jalapeño business!

"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"

Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"

Bob says, "Umm no."

Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."

You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!

Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.

What's SoDN?

Suck on deez nuts.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needs some space.

What do you call a disabled person that can walk?

Enabled.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!

Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?

Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.

Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?

Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.

Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.