You jokes
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
I like tacos more than you like tacos.
Who likes more tacos?
Mee! said the taco.
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
Memes
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Some people decide to start a blog.
Others decide to start a blog.
You know what my sink started?
A clog.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
What do you call a thicc boy... big boi?
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."